Chinese Medicine, Anxiety and Sexual Health: A Personal Perspective
In 1986, Chuck Rabushka was the Cosmopolitan bachelor of the month (we had the copy on our coffee table). Every month they highlighted one bachelor and in March of 1986 he was their man. He drove a red corvette with a T-top and all you ever heard was Phil Collins (Sussudio) or Huey Lewis (The Power of Love). He always had a new girlfriend. His claim to fame was that he invented the click when you pump your gas and your tank is full. He patented and made a fortune.
Chuck had no problems getting the ladies but did not have any interest in keeping the ladies. We lived in the adjacent townhouse and Chuck Rabushkas' room was backed up to my brother's room. Most nights my brother Josh would come screaming into my room, Gabriel you got to come in here for this one! I was 10 so I understood they weren't making pottery but wasn’t 100% clear what all the noise and screaming meant. My brother gave me the play-by-play as best as he could in his 13-year-old boy brain. Chuck Rabushka was my childhood sex educator. It was always the same routine: 1-3 weeks with a woman, one night of a lot of shouting, and then good ol’ Chuck Rabushka was on to the next girl.
We lived with my mom, and in 1986, my mom was totally hot and Chuck Rabushka had eyes for her. We were cool with Chuck but not cool with Chuck dating Lynn Sher. One night my mom came in and she said, the funniest thing just happened - Chuck Rabushka just asked me on a date. My brother looked at me and I looked at my brother and our eyes got big, What the Fu$$% ! She said, he is very handsome and remember? He invented the gas click so he is very wealthy! We know, mom!
That Friday Chuck picked my mom up outside and off they went in his corvette on their big date (Sussudio playing in the background). My brother and I decided that we would stay in the basement so if anything gross happened we wouldn’t have to be witnesses. About 2 hours later my mom came back from her date. My brother and I army crawled to the front window peeking out praying the date was over and she would walk in our door. Well that didn’t happen, and we saw her walk into Chuck Rabushka's townhouse. I don’t remember how long it was (it seemed like an hour) but I do remember my only reaction was to lie on the couch with two pillows smooshed to my ears. Suddenly we heard our front door open and my mom walked in. With my pillows over my ears I heard my brother screaming Hallelujah like 20 times.
We ran to my mother (never been so happy to see her). We both hugged her like she had been just let out of jail after a 20 year prison sentence. She started laughing. I missed you guys too. She looked at us funny and said why are you guys so excited to see me? Wait!! Did you guys think I was going to be another one of Chuck Rabushka's Cosmo lady friends? What, you don’t think I can hear his room too? He is a real pompous jerk and I won’t go out with him ever again. We all started laughing and gave a big group hug. We were happy to have our mom back.
Looking back, I realize that Josh's and my anxiety was in a very pure form: nothing had necessarily happened yet, but our bodies were already reacting to the possibility of what might happen.
That’s one of the interesting things about anxiety. It doesn’t always wait for something bad to happen. Sometimes the mind gets ahead of reality, creating a physical response to something that hasn’t happened yet. Your heart beats faster, your stomach tightens, your neck gets tight, your lower back locks up and your thoughts start racing. Chinese medicine has recognized this connection between the emotions, the mind and the body for thousands of years. Anxiety can involve the Heart and the Shen—the spirit or mind—but it can also affect the Liver, Spleen and Kidney systems. Worry can disrupt digestion, fear can affect the Kidneys, and constrained Liver Qi can leave someone feeling tense, restless or unable to relax. The important point is that two people can experience anxiety in completely different ways, which is why Chinese medicine looks at the individual rather than treating anxiety as one single condition.
This is where acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine and Chinese medicine can be so valuable. We aren’t simply trying to make the anxiety disappear. We are looking at how that anxiety is affecting the entire person—their sleep, digestion, breathing, muscles, energy, thoughts and ability to feel settled. Acupuncture can help regulate Qi, calm the Shen and encourage the nervous system to move out of that constant “what if?” state. Chinese herbs can be selected according to the individual’s underlying pattern and constitution. And sometimes, just like my brother and me waiting for our mom to come home, the body needs help learning that it doesn’t have to react to something that hasn’t happened yet. That’s one of the things I find so fascinating about Chinese medicine: it recognizes that our emotional experiences aren’t just in our heads. We carry them in our bodies, too.